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Phoenix Coyotes

Hockey Addiction

Phoenix CoyotesThis was a piece I wrote about a year ago. I’ve pulled it out of hiding having been inspired by rocknrollnobody’s piece on addiction. Enjoy..

Admitting you have a problem is the first step…so before your family and friends stage an intervention, does any of this sound familiar?

- A TV game qualifies as a “date”

- You spend most of said game wishing your date would shut up and keep his hands to himself

- There’s a Phoenix Coyote bobblehead on your desk..and you talk to it

- Your kid does the goalie stretch in the dirt at tball because she thinks that’s what “warm up” meant

- The team sent you a holiday card in a HAND addressed envelope

- There is a “proper” way to bang the glass and you’ve shown others how to do it

- You chant and cheer in your living room…alone

- You are seriously considering naming your next child, boy or girl, Zybnek, Peter or Petr (yes there IS a difference!)

- One team isn’t enough and you start watching any and all teams (does that make the Coyotes a gateway drug?)

- You are THOROUGHLY convinced that your team didn’t win because you wore the wrong shirt or didn’t get to watch the game (I know this is why the Coyotes can’t win in Canada)

- 1/3 of your wardrode has a howling Coyote head on it. Seek extra help if your underwear does. Not that I know anything about that..AHEM

Other symptoms include night sweats, headaches and feelings of anxiety when you haven’t seen a live game in 2 weeks. Users may also experience great bouts of euphoria on a winning streak and depression over a shootout loss. Don’t discontinue use, just take 2 tickets and call me in morning.

Let’s Puck!

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10 comments for “Hockey Addiction”

  1. That’s hilarious! I actually have to get my girlfriend a birthday present and Sharks tickets were suggested!

    Posted by sharksfanNo Gravatar | October 28, 2009, 10:57 am
  2. Awesome! My last Valentines Day consisted of a Coyotes game vs the Flames…now THAT is romantic! :)

    Posted by PuckGalNo Gravatar | October 28, 2009, 6:42 pm
  3. O.K. I admit it. I actually wanted to name my son Teemu. My wife would not go for it and thought maybe it was an ex-girlfriend.

    Posted by FC Sharks FanNo Gravatar | October 28, 2009, 7:23 pm
  4. great list. Thanks for sharing. I was thinking about naming our next dog something like Geno, Sid, or GoGo…

    Posted by pittpenNo Gravatar | October 28, 2009, 7:42 pm
  5. See! I am not the only one…my daughter is now a goalie and I’ve taken to calling her little Bryzzie after Bryzgalov. It’s a sickness LOL

    Posted by PuckGalNo Gravatar | October 29, 2009, 9:03 am
  6. if only there were more people like you in phoenix… but as of now i’m sorry to say that the US stole my expos so i want my nordiques and jets back…lol

    Posted by B.chandlerNo Gravatar | October 29, 2009, 11:39 am
  7. haha, that’s hilarious. My favorite was the glass banging one. You could also add making a hockey blog as a sign of addiction. My friend always makes fun of me for that.

    Posted by EricNo Gravatar | October 30, 2009, 12:45 pm
  8. Oh yes, I get the grief all the time for my obsessive behavior. My coworkers have such a good time with it. And B.Chandler..I’m sorry you can’t have them back!

    Posted by PuckGalNo Gravatar | October 30, 2009, 12:55 pm
  9. oh man - this is way too funny. or sad, depending on whether you are the fan (me) or family members! LMAO! I just looked in my closet and yep - lots of Ducks and Mighty Ducks stuff. My goalie wall. My car. Ah, well, if my vice is hockey, so be it! Great article!!!!

    Posted by DUXROXNo Gravatar | November 1, 2009, 4:48 pm
  10. There are worse things to be addicted to..:)

    Posted by PuckGalNo Gravatar | November 1, 2009, 9:29 pm

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